vladdraculea: Rainbow Autistic Pride lemniscate over the black, grey, white, and purple stripes of the Asexuality Pride flag (Default)
2015-07-11 02:15 pm

Adventures in Zen: Zen while chronically ill

There's not much going on in my Zen learning and spiritual development at the moment, but I thought I'd update everyone on what little there is, since it seems I haven't posted in quite a while.

This is partly to do with Seattle's recent heat wave, which finally broke over Thursday night. We had 15 days straight of heat over 80°F/27°C, which given my dysautonomia and that practically nobody in Seattle has AC, was miserable for me. My executive function took a major hit during that time and I couldn't keep track of much at all, and it was as if Zen wasn't even part of my life: I couldn't maintain attention for long enough to meditate for more than a breath or two before completely forgetting that I was meant to be in meditation, and I'd be off to do something else instead, not realizing till several minutes-to-a-few-hours later that I'd been in the middle of meditating and gotten distracted with something and never remembered to go back to it. *sigh*

I would love to say that given the much lower temperatures, I've been able, finally, to return to regular meditation, but alas, I find myself so sleepy — probably because I never got really good sleep over the two weeks of excessive heat — that when I sit down to meditate, I end up just falling asleep, which is not much of an improvement over getting distracted.

My partner and I mean to attend group meditation at the Zen center tomorrow morning, so if my tummy lets me get away with it, I may try ingesting some cold cocoa and a chocolate-coffee brownie for breakfast to help me stay awake.