vladdraculea: Rainbow Autistic Pride lemniscate over the black, grey, white, and purple stripes of the Asexuality Pride flag (Default)
Remember a few months ago after the election when I finally broke down and bought a bolt of 12-momme charmeuse silk to dye and make new clothes from? Well, I haven't got round to doing anything with it yet, but I have got round to buying my first hank of silk yarn to dye. Yes, I'm probably getting ahead of myself here, since it's not like the dining room is the least bit ready to become the sewing/crafting and TV room that everyone at the SpaceCastle eventually wants it to be, but I couldn't resist.

I was bumming around on YouTube several days ago and happened upon some reviews of knitting machines, and found out that the most recent version of the Singer knitting machine โ€” which is made for kids at a price their parents can afford โ€” doesn't suck nearly as much as its predecessor did. Indeed, you can't make anything actually *nice* with it, but you *can* make sock blanks which by their very nature don't need to look good since they're going to be dyed and then eventually unraveled when the yarn is used for making actual socks, or hats, or shawls, etc. So I broke down and bought one, since I knew that sock blanks are expensive and they don't come in the yarn you just spun yourself. (Yes, eventually, I'll start spinning again and will want to dye said yarn myself, sometimes in a hank and sometimes using the sock-blank method.)

I got the undyed silk yarn โ€” which will arrive sometime in the coming week โ€” from KnitPicks, since I was ordering a set of interchangeable knitting needles and needed to add something else to my cart to get the free shipping. It looks lustrously smooth and soft, so will knit up into a sock blank nicely.

Next I need to get some acid dyes from Dharma Trading Company to try out on the silk yarn, and if they turn out as expected, then I'll have a pretty good idea of which dyes produce what shades and can make a better guess before committing any yardage of the silk fabric I got back in November.
vladdraculea: Rainbow Autistic Pride lemniscate over the black, grey, white, and purple stripes of the Asexuality Pride flag (Default)
After I saw this post, I got to thinking: what would I do if I could get a body upgrade? What would I do with my current, ill-fitting, constantly dysphoria-inducing bio body? I mean, if I could have a new (nanotechnological) robot body that looked like the real me and supported me to act the way I would act if I had a choice (e.g.: in everything from schooling, to work, to friendship, to family interactions and other social relationships), I would probably never want to spend another minute in this body if I could possibly help it. It's miserable.

But I'd hate the idea of killing it, and anyway it'd be so much better just knowing that spending time in this body while it were awake would only be a *part* of my day-to-day life.

I would imagine it would be a matter of living in the two bodies simultaneously: each an appendage of the whole. So, in my robot body I'd take care of the household chores, food preparation, and other tasks this bio body can't do (or can't do well), while in the bio body eat, sleep, exercise, meditate, and spend time with my partner silking and ealying in ealy lovable soft comfy ๐Ÿ’œsilk๐Ÿ’–.

Effectively, this would mean this body would have its ideal care-giver in the form of me-in-my-robot body, and when this body were sleeping, I'd get a several hour break from the dysphoria and be able to do things like study, write, dance, do music, arts and crafts, and activism โ€” all things I pretty much can't do in this body โ€” and of course spend time with friends as *me*.

Naturally, part of my day in my robot body would also involve robot maintenance โ€” stuff that amounts to the robot-equivalent of sleep, eating, exercising, and hygiene โ€” and that stuff could be managed while my bio body were awake doing things like exercise, meditation, and other body-self-care, too.

And I'd probably go to the Zen center in both bodies, since meditation is good for robot brains as well as for bio brains. It would probably be a little hard for people to get used to the idea of a person who has two bodies, but I would imagine people would eventually get used to seeing the two bodies doing zazen next to each other. At the gym, it'd just look like โ€œsome pale blond lady getting coached by a guy with long black curly hair and a dark tanโ€, but in actuality, it would be the robot body spotting the bio body through each exercise, so the bio body wouldn't have to use up too many spoons on the cognitive aspects of working out.

And there would be times where I'd want to hang out with friends when the bio body wouldn't happen to be sleeping, so I'd probably end up communicating mostly through my robot body while my bio body would sit there quietly as if just listening to the conversation. Naturally, this wouldn't be ideal, since all the while the bio body would be awake, it would constantly be fielding sensory overload, physical pain, and other things that would be distracting to me as a whole, even if my robot brain were able to deal with the influx of discomfort coming from the bio brain, and this would make socializing less than ideal.

Also, there'd be the distraction of having my bio body sitting there and โ€” especially if the social occasion involved spending time with family โ€” having people look at the bio body instead of the robot body when addressing me. It would feel like a bit of a rejection of the real me (that is best represented by my robot body), and that would suck. I have a feeling my parents and sister would never accept the real me. And there'd be some people who, having known me for many years, would also be very reluctant to accept the robot body as really being me and my bio body as never having been a good fit for me.

But I'm sure most of my current close friends would accept the change โ€” the acquisition of a robot body that fits the real me way better than my bio body does โ€” without much difficulty at all, and I could finally start relating to people and to the rest of the world (to nature, to my spirituality, to my vocation, etc.) in a way I haven't been able to in all the decades of living in this bio body. And that would be awesome, in the original meaning of that word. ๐Ÿ˜Š

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vladdraculea: Rainbow Autistic Pride lemniscate over the black, grey, white, and purple stripes of the Asexuality Pride flag (Default)
Sage Drฤƒculea

June 2017

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