vladdraculea: Rainbow Autistic Pride lemniscate over the black, grey, white, and purple stripes of the Asexuality Pride flag (Default)
[personal profile] vladdraculea
After I saw this post, I got to thinking: what would I do if I could get a body upgrade? What would I do with my current, ill-fitting, constantly dysphoria-inducing bio body? I mean, if I could have a new (nanotechnological) robot body that looked like the real me and supported me to act the way I would act if I had a choice (e.g.: in everything from schooling, to work, to friendship, to family interactions and other social relationships), I would probably never want to spend another minute in this body if I could possibly help it. It's miserable.

But I'd hate the idea of killing it, and anyway it'd be so much better just knowing that spending time in this body while it were awake would only be a *part* of my day-to-day life.

I would imagine it would be a matter of living in the two bodies simultaneously: each an appendage of the whole. So, in my robot body I'd take care of the household chores, food preparation, and other tasks this bio body can't do (or can't do well), while in the bio body eat, sleep, exercise, meditate, and spend time with my partner silking and ealying in ealy lovable soft comfy 💜silk💖.

Effectively, this would mean this body would have its ideal care-giver in the form of me-in-my-robot body, and when this body were sleeping, I'd get a several hour break from the dysphoria and be able to do things like study, write, dance, do music, arts and crafts, and activism — all things I pretty much can't do in this body — and of course spend time with friends as *me*.

Naturally, part of my day in my robot body would also involve robot maintenance — stuff that amounts to the robot-equivalent of sleep, eating, exercising, and hygiene — and that stuff could be managed while my bio body were awake doing things like exercise, meditation, and other body-self-care, too.

And I'd probably go to the Zen center in both bodies, since meditation is good for robot brains as well as for bio brains. It would probably be a little hard for people to get used to the idea of a person who has two bodies, but I would imagine people would eventually get used to seeing the two bodies doing zazen next to each other. At the gym, it'd just look like “some pale blond lady getting coached by a guy with long black curly hair and a dark tan”, but in actuality, it would be the robot body spotting the bio body through each exercise, so the bio body wouldn't have to use up too many spoons on the cognitive aspects of working out.

And there would be times where I'd want to hang out with friends when the bio body wouldn't happen to be sleeping, so I'd probably end up communicating mostly through my robot body while my bio body would sit there quietly as if just listening to the conversation. Naturally, this wouldn't be ideal, since all the while the bio body would be awake, it would constantly be fielding sensory overload, physical pain, and other things that would be distracting to me as a whole, even if my robot brain were able to deal with the influx of discomfort coming from the bio brain, and this would make socializing less than ideal.

Also, there'd be the distraction of having my bio body sitting there and — especially if the social occasion involved spending time with family — having people look at the bio body instead of the robot body when addressing me. It would feel like a bit of a rejection of the real me (that is best represented by my robot body), and that would suck. I have a feeling my parents and sister would never accept the real me. And there'd be some people who, having known me for many years, would also be very reluctant to accept the robot body as really being me and my bio body as never having been a good fit for me.

But I'm sure most of my current close friends would accept the change — the acquisition of a robot body that fits the real me way better than my bio body does — without much difficulty at all, and I could finally start relating to people and to the rest of the world (to nature, to my spirituality, to my vocation, etc.) in a way I haven't been able to in all the decades of living in this bio body. And that would be awesome, in the original meaning of that word. 😊

Date: Wednesday, October 21st, 2015 05:43 pm (UTC)
cereus: Ringtail Cat climbing tree (Default)
From: [personal profile] cereus
Yeah, that makes sense to me! Sounds like a really cool idea.

And I don't think I would be weirded out by talking to robot!Vlad at all.

I don't really think I'd be interested in living in a robot/nanotech body at all. There's a lot I love about my body that's all because it's a biological thing. There are some things I would like to change about my body - but they're pretty much all biologically based. And actually a lot of them are really basic transition stuff that's available right now! Like messing with hormones. (If only "informed consent" for hormones was more of a thing. *sigh*)

(NSFW ahead: Although if they found a way for nanotechnology to make a better strap-on I would be all over that.)

But I do think It would be really good to have a robot rat, and falcon, and maybe a cat or two. Just to have different ways to explore things. And also, the robot!me could help the bio!me reach for things in awkward places without literally dislocating something. And I think Falcon would really appreciate being able to be in her "true form" and being able to fly. And Isil, even though she's actually more bat-like, would appreciate the ability to fly in any form once in a while as well. And Dylan would spend a lot of times "fronting" as the rat. And the cats could do "cat things" in the real world.

Also speaking of cat things. "We" could also be solar powered so sitting in the sun would be *literally* re-charging!

Date: Tuesday, June 28th, 2016 07:06 pm (UTC)
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
From: [personal profile] alatefeline
Goodness I was reading this to try to respond thoughtfully to your comments and then I hit the part about a solar-powered cat body and

****AAAA HAPPY FLAILS***

solar kitty solar kitty solar kitty solar kitty

I already make the joke that when I sit in the sun it's so I can recharge my feline laser eyes. You are ... da dum ... brilliant.

PS: I'd love to talk to any of you all under the username cereus but the cats probably have lot in common with me and I am officially inviting them to visit my blog or my brain and come chase crinkly string with me.

Date: Thursday, October 22nd, 2015 02:10 pm (UTC)
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
From: [personal profile] meridian_rose
That's a really interesting idea and a great article. You've got some lovely turn of phrase paragraphs here so it's almost like reading a sci-fi story about how things are better in the not so distant future :)

Date: Saturday, October 24th, 2015 02:55 am (UTC)
cereus: Ringtail Cat climbing tree (Default)
From: [personal profile] cereus
Yeah, I didn't think to comment on your writing style, but it really is engaging! :)

Date: Saturday, October 24th, 2015 05:20 pm (UTC)
sinisterporpoise: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sinisterporpoise
I must be too brain-fog ridden lately. I've read this post several times but I'm barely comprehending it.

Date: Saturday, October 24th, 2015 08:11 pm (UTC)
sinisterporpoise: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sinisterporpoise
I think. But the problem wasn't that it was too long. It's just that no matter how many times I read it, it wasn't making any sense to me. I hope I wan't implying it was your fault. I was just trying to indicate I couldn't get through my internal clouds.

Date: Monday, June 27th, 2016 09:06 pm (UTC)
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
From: [personal profile] alatefeline
This is such a fascinating comment! I have thought about uploading myself, and about shapeshifting my physical body, and about the implications of having multiple copies of one person (as opposed to multiple people in one body or multiple identical bodies working as one person) but I have NEVER gone into this kind of depth about what it would be like to have a looks-like-me-in-my-head body AND my current body. Thanks for something amazingly thought-provoking.

Date: Tuesday, June 28th, 2016 07:01 pm (UTC)
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
From: [personal profile] alatefeline
>> of certain body fixes coming down the line in the future <<

I think whatever technology actually hits the market, it will surprise us. That doesn’t mean there is no practical value to thinking through alternative scenarios - just the opposite, it helps make us more mentally flexible and ready to roll with the punches. And there are other values to it as well.

>> and with the class and economic implications of current and future technologies << & >> and how many people will be left behind. <<

This one is easier for me to notice because I am very cynical about money and opportunity. I’m working on having or finding practical ideas for ameliorating this, and finding the subset of those ideas that make sense for me personally to act on right now.

>> I'm wrestling with the ableist implications << & >> By keeping the bio body alive and caring for it, I would see this as validating the existence of bodies like it. <<

I am still learning to really notice and understand instances of ableism the way I notice instances of some other -isms. Thanks for bringing this perspective to the table in our conversation, and for choosing to converse with me.

>> I think to have killed off my old, imperfect body just because it misrepresents me, <<

Any science fiction / fantasy where someone uploads or transfers their consciousness and they either (a) magically don’t have a body left behind or a mind in the body left behind, (b) kill a functional body with a functional mind without thinking about, is deeply problematic in my mind. Eugenicist, yes, ableist, yes, but even if someone was killing their normatively-abled, identical body without thinking about it, that would still be murder, I think. Arguing that it isn’t goes back to some very oppressive ideas about personhood, the kind that end up with chucking a lot of people’s actual lived experiences as not real, and NO THANK YOU. “Cheap” mind-copying and unconsidered implications are kind of a red flag to me now. I’ll still read the stuff, but suspiciously. I’d rather read something that engages with those quandaries.

>> Especially since it wouldn't be as if I had no outlet for self-expression, given the existence of my new body. <<

A good practical consideration for you personally. We all have limits and needs, and sometimes the choice is between two or more bad options, and sometimes we do have the opportunity to do something really good if we are willing to think outside the box a bit.

video

Date: Friday, July 1st, 2016 06:19 am (UTC)
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
From: [personal profile] alatefeline
I watched the video, and while it is certainly a persuasive and detailed presentation of one point of view, it is also completely railroading that point of view and skipping over every alternative hypothesis. Remember that all the author-avatar character's experiences and everything the scientist-character does are written by the author to support that viewpoint. I personally prefer material that doesn't railroad anything and leaves some questions open-ended.

But when the question is "Do you even exist" and the answer is "Yes", as a moral person I think I have to respect that whether or not I can possibly understand how it could happen.

I'm therefore taking this discussion topic over to my blog, for people to view or not as they choose, because I don't want to get deeply into philosophy that potentially postulates that one or many or all people are or are not or should or should not be considered to fit some ontological category of personhood without making it clear that this is theoretical and opt-in and I have no intention of trying to rewrite reality with an ax.

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vladdraculea: Rainbow Autistic Pride lemniscate over the black, grey, white, and purple stripes of the Asexuality Pride flag (Default)
Vlad Drăculea

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